More Meaning
| Therapeutic Accounting ® | |
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By Harvey Bookstein, CPA |
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Publication Date: Tax Planning 2010 |
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I am sitting on a plane on one of the four legs of my trip back home from a three-week trip to India. The initial purpose of this trip was to attend a conference of an international association of accountants (JHI) of which RBZ is a member. In addition, I am a member of its board, and I needed to attend a Board of Directors meeting before and after the general meeting.
My wife, Harriet, is traveling with me. I was not at all excited about this trip as India was not a country that I had any desire to see, but she made it clear that we were not going to travel all that way to India without seeing some of the country. In addition, my partner Dave Roberts and his wife, Cynthia, joined us for most of the trip (not the Board of Directors portion); they were both excited about going.
Although the initial negative thoughts I had about going to India had to do with the poor economic condition of most of its citizens (which proved to be true), I have to state now after the fact that the personal portion of the trip was much more meaningful than I had expected. It was a fabulous and unique experience for a variety of reasons – the most significant one being the spirituality of the people. Most of the people seemed to have an inner peace whether rich or poor, young or old, male or female. They seemed to realize that their time on Earth is extremely short compared to the universe’s spectrum. Many believe that there is a “before” and “after” life which makes their current lives an insignificant part of time.
I haven’t experienced this kind of spiritual feeling since visiting Jerusalem, Israel earlier this year. I am told that many Catholics experience this same type of spirituality when in the Vatican City. The city I visited in India that sticks the most in my mind is Varanasi. It is a city that seems to live spiritually, even though most people there appear to live in poverty. I found a large part of this experience depressing and sad until I had adequate time to think about what I saw. One small section of this city has eight to nine cremations going on 24 hours a day, 7 days a week (24/7) in public view on the Ganges River, where we all took a small boat ride to experience this process. Somewhat more disturbing was noticing a pile of ashes several feet high which consists of hundreds of cremated bodies that have not yet been pushed out into the river. I am told that there are several sections on this river with similar activities.
Although at first you try not to look, you eventually get mesmerized by the entire process. There are both professional “cremators” and professional “scavengers.” This process has been going on for over 5,000 years. As they say (which is actually true, but we do not think about it), we all end up as dust no matter how we live our lives. We really are all very much the same in the end.
It made me think about living life for today as we do not know when we will end up as dust. I tried to think about what really gives me special enjoyment in life and what makes my life more meaningful on a personal basis. At one time in my life, it was work first, my children second and everything else third. As I have written in the past, through working with my psychological therapist and talking with my wife Harriet, they helped me recognize that my past priorities needed to change so as to reflect how I really feel. I still don’t have it right 100% of the time, but I am living a happier and more meaningful life now.
There are several new things I now enjoy participating in (not that work isn’t still significantly enjoyable to me). One of these is traveling. I travel occasionally by myself, but mostly with Harriet. We have been to many countries together as well as cities in the United States (mostly due to my international accounting associations). I have always enjoyed our special time together and getting out of our normal routine just emphasizes that great feeling. As wonderful as it is, the times we’re traveling together is not the number one high point in my life.
As we passed by the cremations and had time to reflect on the process, I thought how lucky Harriet and I are to have all four of our children, three children-in-laws and three grandchildren live within five miles of our home. We see the kids as a complete “unit” quite often as well as spending time individually with them. I thought about how much I get out of my life by watching them go through their lives (both good and bad).
My high point is our annual two-week family vacation where the family all travels together. This is generally out of the country, whether it’s a cruise or by land. The kids always pick a year in advance as to where and when the next year’s vacation will be. Our family vacations started with three of our children going on a cruise through Europe on Harriet’s and my honeymoon, and it has continued ever since. The only thing that has changed in our family vacations is the addition in our family of our grandchildren and our in-laws. We have them stay with Harriet and I in our room during our trips. This started because my kids were generally late (one of my pet peeves), and they always gave the excuse that our grandchildren kept them from being on time. In fact, at one time one of my daughters said that going on vacation with their children was like being stuck in one room compared to being able to escape in their entire house. She has the same issue of getting them going in the morning, but without a place to escape so as to avoid the fight. Solving this problem has been great. This gives our kids a chance to be alone, and it gives Harriet and I more time with the grandkids as well as eliminating the excuse as to why they could not be there on time.
The point that I am making is not about our kids or about travelling, but about finding something in your life that is meaningful, that you look forward to doing that is outside of the regular routine of your life. Try to identify what this is to you, and I assure you that your short stay on Earth, as we know it, will become more meaningful.
